Today marks day 30 in starting vyvanse 30mg…or it was supposed to. I took a summer study term and the 3 weeks break between the end of summer term and the start of fall study term is when I finally got my meds. Those first 3 weeks I didn’t notice anything different in terms of daily life because I was just binging Netflix all day everyday before the new semester.
Last week school started and I was as productive as a normal person! I would set my alarm for an hour before I wanted to wake up and take my meds then before going back to sleep for that hour. I’d then wake up and just bounce outta bed. (Technically i didn’t even need to set strict alarms since all my classes were asynchronous online lectures.)
I followed my daily study plans almost to a freakin T! That has never happened before in terms of study plans in my entire 20 years of being alive. I was studying on average 4-6 hours everyday and it was really fun to tick off the boxes in my study planner throughout the day.
That single week of productivity got me so gassed I was thinking things like
“hmm maybe I don’t even need my meds, maybe I’m productive for once because I finally organized my life and started regularly tracking my stuff I’m my new agenda!”
“Even WITH meds, I’m still pretty distracted so maybe it’s not even working (taking breaks here and there but they were max 45mins)”
So yeah. That was fucking wrong.
I forgot to set my normal alarm last night so I woke up at like 2pm today (had a brief moment of awakeness due to a phone call). And at that point I knew that if I took the pill then, I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep properly so I just decided; since I already had suspicions that it wasn’t working for me, might as well test that theory.
So far; I have yet to brush my teeth, DIDNT eat any meals yet, didn’t even write down my daily study goals, dropped in on a live lecture because it was mandatory, and that’s it. I don’t even know if I peed today. I have also been at peak sleepiness the entire time I have been awake even though I slept a solid 12 hours. I can’t even nap cause then I know I won’t be able to sleep tonight.