Tips on how to gently broach “how not to talk about ADHD” with manager? : ADHD


I’ve got a new manager at work. He’s nice and well meaning. However having broached the topic of ADHD with him, he’s said “Yeah, I’ve done some reading after you told me and I think we’ve all got a little bit of ADHD haven’t we? I know I certainly have…”

My heart sank.

I had actually sent him some resources that I find resonate with me which I don’t think he’s looked at. You’ll probably be pleased to know that I did interrupt him and say “Watch the video… I think that’ll explain it more” (Thomas E. Brown’s primer on YouTube). This was just like a major internal victory for standing up for myself I’ll be honest cos usually my emotional dysregulation/RSD is screaming at me going “NOOOO DO NOT UPSET THE MANAGER MAN OR HE WILL HATE YOU”. So, yay for me on this occasion at least.

However it’s not the first ‘red flag’* I’ve seen from him and I’m worried he may fall into the other pitfalls as our relationship continues.

I’ll stress I do not think he is being belligerently dismissive – just someone who’s never really had to think about mental health before and therefore likely has a lot of myth-based preconceptions which I feel I may now have to dismantle.

Any tips on trying to make this sort of relationship work without either seeming ‘overly needy’ or a ‘troublemaker’?

Partly beginning to wish I hadn’t told work at all :/

*(Previous red flag: I also explained how I have previously had feedback of “you don’t need to take things so personally” if I get in a tricky dispute with stakeholders. Explained this is something I spend a lot of energy working on outwardly but the emotional dysregulation I experience does mean criticism does sometimes feel personal, even if I know it isn’t. His response was “Yes, that’s normal – and what you need to do is not take things too personally” πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ).

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